A BOOMER’S JOURNAL

By Tom Anselm

Thoughts as Our World Spins in a New Way

Well, heck.

How many of you say this, or worse, when you wake and then in two seconds remember what’s really going on? As thrilled as I am to greet another day (thank you, Jesus!) this is my exact second reaction to today’s nutty world.

No matter what situation you may be in, whether it’s retired or working or home with kids or living alone or layed off or any combination of these, there is just this sensation of being in a Dean Koontz novel. You sit there and think, and all the questions come flooding in. Like will I get it, if I had it am I immune, are my kids safe, my parents and grandparents, is there going to be an antibody test, a vaccine, a cure, is this going to be with us forever, when can we see our family together again? And dozens more.

Time is all a-kilter. I shower when I shower. No place to be, and all day to get there. Take naps, sometimes short ones, other times, longer. Some days go fast, still others … soooo sloooooow. Jill and I are doing all right, considering we are in that ‘danger zone’, and not taking the restrictions lightly.

But we are hurting, in other ways. We, like so many, have missed milestone events, of kid’s birthdays and sacraments and graduations and plays and games. One of the greatest of our yearnings is holding our newest granddaughter, Elizabeth Ann, born March 25. Pictures and seeing her from 6 feet away just don’t cut it. We are totally grateful for a healthy birth and mommy’s great health, for sure. But not being able to hold Her Littleness and smell her sweet baby-smell, touch her silken cheek and give her a kiss… wow, this is not easy. Neither is not being able to grab a kid and grandkid and bear hug and kiss them and be close enough to see their eyes. Missing Mass is another huge bummer… live-streaming just ain’t the same.

I know that many have it a lot worse. Those who are ill, who have died and their families are being forced to grieve and mourn from a distance. Those who are working on the ‘front lines’ of this battle. Economic hardships are hitting so many deeply. For them, this time must be so much more terrible.

I am worried about how all ages of kids are dealing with this. Do little ones feel fear and can’t express it? Are older ones able to see hope of an ending to this madness? About depression, isolation, those with real germaphobic tendencies. About the health of our families. Of all humankind.

But let’s look on the bright side, at least relative to all the negative.

Things have definitely slowed down, for most of us. We are spending more time with our families, eating more meals together, playing games, being creative. Generosity seems to be busting out all over the world, in neighborhoods, among friends, among strangers. This old earth seems to be taking a breather, literally, with the immense drop in pollutants and toxins hitting the air. I read that the planet is shaking less. Shaking. What have we been doing to our home in the sky? And after, will we maintain these gains? Hmmm. Time will tell, I suppose.

As you may have noticed, I have gone this whole time without having mentioned the name of the thing that is responsible for our situation.

Purposely, because I am so sick of hearing it, seeing it on every news show, every commercial being geared to it. And all the rah-rah and sis-kum-bah about how we will be better for this, stronger, greater… we can beat this, everything will be awesome again.

Hey, I get it. Think positively. And probably all that is true. Just kind of  growing weary of it all. Maybe things will get better. Hopefully not worse. Things will not stay the same. They never do, moment to moment.

So what am I doing about it?

Praying. Taking long walks. Working on the arms. Trying to eat less (not easy!) Hugging my wife. Staying away from news shows. Staying home. Reaching out to others, virtually. Reaching to the sky.

Hoping.

The good news is that things seem to be easing a bit. The mitigations seem to be working. I truly believe that those who are working so hard for medical answers will be successful. An antibody test, a vaccine, better treatments.

It’s just the waiting that is hard.

My blessings to you all, in your own waiting.

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