Being Grandpa . . .

By Tom Anselm

A few weeks ago I mentioned that my latest birthday took me to the start of my eighth decade. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, and so it was my wish that there be no party. Well, my kids being who they are (which is awesome!) surprised me several days after with a gathering of family, complete with all the little ones and in-laws. I was blown away, to put it mildly. And I thank them for it from my heart.

Now, one of the great life miracles

for an older guy of having kids is

when they also have kids. The Lovely Jill and I are abundantly blessed in this regard, with 11 grandchildren, ranging in age from almost-16 to just-about-7 months. The joy and laughter they bring into our lives is nearly immeasurable. They energize us in so many ways. And they keep us busy as bee’s, going to their activities and games and hanging with the two youngest once a week.

There is this quote attributed to the actor and playwright Woody Allen who said “Eighty percent of life is showing up.” Well, as grandparents, we try to do just that. Consider this. These grandchildren, they are young for only a very short time of their lives. The littlest ones, they have lots of stuff to show up for yet. There will be First Communions and Grandparent’s Day’s and Advent Nights.

As they age, and as those of ours who are in the middle elementary grades are experiencing, there will be music recitals and plays and reading at Mass. Sooner rather than later, they will be graduating, from grade school, and in a few years, the older ones will begin that high school march across the stage, with their siblings soon to follow.   All of our g-kids are talented (of course!) and it is always a hoot to see them play and perform. So, yeah, showing up for those things? Wouldn’t miss it, because if you miss it, it is gone. Never again to be reclaimed.

But there is more to showing up than actually just being there. It is the implied statement, the unspoken word, that ‘we love you, support you, value you… treasure you.”

And, I think they get it.

Along those same lines, we get to see them grow, physically, intellectually, socially, morally. It is so gratifying to watch them do nice things for each other, as brothers and sisters, as cousins. An added bonus is to watch our own children as they take on the job of parenting with such skill and enthusiasm, love and effort. Theirs is a daunting task in this world in which we now live, and they are doing remarkably well with it.

Being the Papa, the Grampa… it is a role that I had no idea could be so fulfilling. I get to rock an infant until his eyes gently close. Advise, encourage, sometimes gently admonish. Give and receive hugs, snuggle a fat little cheek and get sneezed and drooled on. I can high-five/fist-bump/slap-on-the-back with the guys, shoulder-hug and rub tops of heads with the littler ones, tell stupid stories and even stupider jokes. I’ve been known to text them silly emoji’s on the interweb, wear my pants way up high and make silly faces, send them videos of my songs.

I cry with them when they are hurting, rejoice with them in their victories, bask with them in the pride of their achievements. And, most of all, easiest of all, love them… unconditionally.

Jill and I, we are constantly looking at each other, in awe and wonder, at how we ever got so lucky.

So keep on showing up? You bet.

For as long as we are able.

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