Becoming A Singer With No Experience

By Tom Anselm

“No two are ever the same.”

This is what I tell The Lovely Jill every time I walk in the door after having played music at a senior facility. Yeah, the guy, who has had an acoustic guitar for about 30 years gathering dust in the closet. The guy who never sang in church until that one time at a retreat a half-dozen years ago when I suddenly had a voice and I came home and told TLJ that I was thinking about joining the church band. That guy.

From that day to this, I’ve been in and out of choirs, learned about 75 songs, written a dozen, recorded five with my kids and grandkids, and have most recently been playing and singing at one-hour gigs in nursing homes.

How in the name of Lawrence Welk did this happen, you may be asking… and what do I mean by that first line?

Fair enough. Here goes.

Last summer, I went to visit the parents of good friends of Jill’s family at a senior facility. I brought along an acoustic classical guitar I found for ten bucks at a Knights of Columbus yard sale along with a few songs, and that CD we made. I played a few songs, and as I was leaving, I said to myself “Self, you got some time here to do something nice. Maybe you should do this for old people.” So on the way home, I called the activity director at their home. The conversation went something like this.

“Hi, my name is Tom Anselm. I was wondering if you have people come to your place to play music for the residents?

“Yes, we do. What do you play?”

“Oh, guitar, sing a few songs.” (Half of this was true. I had a guitar, yes, and was developing some songs.) It went on.

“Okay, that’s good… so what do you charge?”

This stopped me in my tracks. I was planning on doing this volunteer, pro bono, ya know. You mean they pay people for this? I had no idea. Let’s check this out, I thought.

“Well, what do you usually pay?”

“Well, what do you usually charge?” So here I decided to drop the charade, and explain that I’d never done this before but was looking for an opportunity and had no idea what to say as to rate and…

“Let’s get you in for a trial, say, $40 for an hour.”

And, like I say all the time, the rest is history. Plus, this is where the fun begins. I put together a bunch of songs from the standards and oldies, easy ones where I can play chords, got a small Fender amplifier and a mic kit and I was in business, baby.

It was at this first gig that I would find out that “no two are ever the same.”

As I set up my small kit, about 20 people came into the dining room. One lady who I swear could have been Jill’s grandma said “Oh, you’re playing music today? How wonderful.” After my first song, “Summertime” from Porgy and Bess, another lady shouted out loudly “No, THAT’S not the one!” I was a bit stunned, but kept on playing. The first lady clapped after each one, telling me how “wonderful” it was.

A few songs later, the second lady yelled out “Yeah, THAT’S the one.” And as I neared the end of the set, she rolled up in her wheelchair, looked me straight in the eye and said something I will never forget: “You might as well stop playing, they’re not gonna pay you.” I smiled. She rolled away.

This was going to be fun.

I’ve had other similar encounters during the over-40 gigs I’ve done since August of last year. Some so nice like Jill’s grandma-look-alike, to ‘this guys no good… he has to use sheet music” to “hey, that was really nice, please come back” (same guy, after!)

One sweet lady asked me if I played at restaurants. After every song. I said no, not yet, or do you think I should, or maybe I need to. Finally, I smiled and said “Yes, Ma’am.” She shook her head and said “Well, that’s nice, Honey.” Then there was the time a resident asked if I played Frank Sinatra, and when the first song wasn’t Frank, she rolled away. I learned a profound lesson from that… honor requests immediately!

My audiences vary in number from as many as 50 to as few as 6. One place started out with eight-tables-full, and by the end it was me and two ladies, singing along, tapping their toes. I can sure clear a room, I said. They smiled and said it’s fine, dear…happens all the time.

I am just a simple player of chords who can stay reasonably on tune. I have benefitted greatly from these outings and learned a lot, not the least of which is performing is hard work.

Still, the opportunity to offer these seasoned citizens a brief respite from their sometimes lonely days, hear them singing along in their small voices, tapping their toes, enjoying the memories for just a few moments…

To borrow the immortal words of my first ‘critic’… “Yeah, THAT’S the one.”

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