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A Boomer’s Journal

 By Tom Anselm

Many things of great consequence are facing the world we live in today. There is the real threat of a rogue nation, Iran, securing the capability to build nuclear weapons. At home, there are killings almost daily in all the major cities. With the 2016 United States presidential elections about a year away, the bevy of contenders are ramping up their self-promotion and firing up their invective machines designed to make their opponents look like mouse-brained nincompoops incapable of leading the country.

And all of this done ‘with all due respect,’ of course. Relations between the races seem to have hit a new low for this millennium, having gone terribly south in the last several years. And so on and so on.

However, there is some news on the horizon that may just take over the headlines. I just read that the McDonald’s Corporation is planning to revamp its entire menu in response to slumping revenues.

Now this may seem a bit petty in light of the other happenings noted above. And you are probably right. But consider that this is the company that literally revolutionized the fast-food industry, starting from humble beginnings and spreading across the US of A from the middle of the last century to today being in China and Russia and even Vietnam. It is an institution as American as the signature sandwich on which it has built its empire.

My earliest recollection I have of those Golden Arches is when my dad would tool south down Highway 67, then called Lewis and Clark Boulevard, from our house in Bissell Hills to this new place made of white tile with red accent stripes and those crazy wicket-looking things coming out of either side of the building. It was strictly walk-up then. Window slides up, give your order, down goes window, up comes the window, out come the white bags. He would buy a dozen or so burgers at 15 cents each, another sack full of steaming 10-cent French fries. No Quarter Pounders, Big Macs, or toys for the kiddies. Maybe an occasional shake or two, but only if you wanted strawberry, chocolate or vanilla.

Jillie has the same memory of her mom coming all the way from Glasgow Village to do the same, although with plenty more to haul home, there being a lot of mouths to feed. And also for Jill, that same location directly across from the North Drive-In became a favored hangout throughout her high school years.

As for the culinary fare, I still contend that the McDonald’s fry has no equal. Last spring I was leaving a substitute teaching job and stopped at a red light. MickeyD’s was right there on the corner. The aroma of The Fry was so strong, so tantalizing, that I right-turned into the drive-through for a small bag from the ‘Value Menu.’ No, nothing else, I told the somewhat bemused clerk, unashamedly. And you know, I think she understood.

That first bite of the highly salted potato transported me back to the rides home with my dad, when he and I would ‘sample’ a few before rolling into the driveway.

So today, that stalwart of the industry has taken a rather courageous step in its efforts to reclaim its place at the top of the heap of the multitude of quick-meal purveyors. I think it is well past time as, while their fry remains king, the taste of the meat has become akin to flavored shredded plastic—certainly not worthy of their famous double cheeseburger.

And they are even going to all-day breakfast, which I always thought should have been a no-brainer, since they did create the very popular Egg McMuffin. But that will not change my unabashed allegiance to the always-available and affordable Breakfast Jack from The Box.

As my family may someday attest to when I pass on to The Big Drive-thru in the Sky, there are two things for which I might be remembered. One is being able to fall sleep just about anywhere, anytime, with such skill that they have renamed the simple nap as ‘A Tom.’ (As in “Where’s dad? Oh, he’s taking A Tom.”)

And the other is my deep and abiding affection for that incredible breakfast sandwich, greasy and hot, with the fried egg just crispy on the edge, a half-slice of American Cheese, paper-thin Canadian Bacon, salt and peppered on a lightly toasted bun. Someday, as I lay dying, I will request this as my last meal. Oh, and throw in some fries from McDonalds while you’re at it, if you would be so kind.

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