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A Boomer’s Journal

By Tom Anselm

I haven’t always been the great guy I am today. There were times, especially in my teens and early twenties, when I made some really bone-headed moves and I know I hurt some people, mainly female. I was what would have been called in the olden days, a ‘heel.”

Today, the word is “tool”, or “hammer”, like my granddaughter Elise says it, as in “mom, that guys a hammer, right? What do you mean, hon? You know, what you and dad call people?”

Once I went out with a girl and then never called her again because she had pizza in her teeth. Wow. What a profound reason to never talk to someone again. Like Elise said, a “hammer”.

Now in my defense, scientific studies indicate that a male’s brain doesn’t fully develop until he is at least in his late 20s, so there’s that. And in the earlier times of that period, I got dumped a few times as well. Things just didn’t click for me on the relationship train. Until, of course, then they did.

After I met ‘The One’, my friends thought I’d disappeared into the witness protection program, they saw so little of me. I was smitten, and smitten hard. Within a little over a year, we were married. And the rest is a wonderful story of love and kids and grandkids that hopefully has many chapters yet to be written.

All this talk of near-ancient history brings to mind thoughts of our wedding day. As you can see in this issue’ s bridal pages, the institution of matrimony has blossomed into a huge business. (I was asked if I wanted to write a column about Love and Marriage, in case you’re wondering why I’m in the wedding pages.)

Today’s intendeds face a vast number of options, and the corresponding expenses, from engagement photos to save-the-date cards to wedding parties the size of a small third-world country to limousine services. There are all varieties of venues, menus and bar plans, band decisions and floral packages… well, things sure were different back in olden times.

Our nuptials were surrounded by the standard accoutrements of the early 1970s.

Don’t get me wrong. All of it was wonderful, planned out well by the lovely Jill. My parents hosted a very nice rehearsal dinner at the Flaming Pit on West Florissant. We had a Friday night Mass at Jill’s parish church, St. Pius X, which was the custom of the day. Reception line outside, photos in the church, then on to the reception. We rode to Our Lady of Good Counsel in my dad’s gold Dodge Duster, best man and brother Rick at the wheel. (I guess mom and dad and brother Don drove my yellow hatchback Ford Pinto? Hmm. Never thought about that ‘til just now.) It was an awesome gathering of friends and family, full of love and happiness.

We even had a wedding crasher whose name escapes me. We looked at each other like “did we invite him?” As I recall, he had at least two huge plates of food. Speaking of food, the dinner was the traditional delicious menu of roast beef, ham, mostaciolli, green beans and tossed salad prepared by Trigg Catering. Ready for this? The cost was $1.40 per plate. The hall rental included draft beer and set-ups.

What are set-ups, some of you younger readers may ask? Well, back even further into my parent’s era, people would either drink the draft beer or bring a bottle of whiskey in a brown bag and make ‘high-balls’ with the lemon-lime Vess in the huge green bottles obtained from the bar. What about wine, you may ask? The wines of this era were Boone’s Farm, Annie Green Springs and Ripple, but we of course weren’t about to offer this, especially considering the, shall we say, sometimes-less-than-self-controlled group of friends I hung with. So, no wine. But no one missed it, believe me. The Father of the Bride, Jack Koeller, did a classy thing by providing liquor to the tables of family and friends. But my friends were not included, for the most obvious and previously-stated reasons.

However, Jill and I were oblivious to the specifics once things got rockin’. We had a great band called Carpe Diem, a very popular wedding group. Our first dance was to The Carpenter’s ‘We’ve Only Just Begun’ and then I swear it seemed like everybody danced all night. In those days, it was traditional for the newlyweds to cut out early so … well, you know. But the Princess Bride and I were having too much fun so we decided to stick around until it was almost over.

Now this is not to say that our simple way was better than today’s wedding celebrations. Customs change, opportunities grow. Like I said, the world of weddings has been altered forever, and each one we are now privileged to attend is both beautiful and amazing.

But, ya know, sports fans, it’s hard to beat that good-old hot roast beef and mostaciolli receptions.

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