Being an ‘Elder’ Has

Advantages

Over Those Both

Younger and Older

By Tom Anselm

I am the oldest person in our immediate family, both sides. The Senior Member, so to speak. You may recall that Medicare and I became fast friends about ten months ago. And for the most part, it has been an amicable relationship. I don’t really need any supplemental plans, thank the Good Lord Above. Things are generally going well. One can only take it one day at a time, however, especially since my last birthday put me square into the ranks of “Elderly”, according to US Government parlance.

Now last week, I felt anything but that, as I spent a few days on the bluffs of the Mississippi south of our fair city at a retreat center. It is called the White House. No not that one. No one tried to break in. I was probably one of the youngest guys there. Octo-, septua- and sexagenarians roamed the grounds and populated the beautiful white limestone chapel. I felt like their kid brother.

As I pondered this phenomenon alongside being the oldest in my personal gang, that term ‘elderly’ came back to mind.   Here we all were, all of us codgers, long-in-the-tooth, grandpas, coots, geezers, if you will. All looking for the way to make our lives and that of those whom we love more meaningful. To seek the direction, to find the path that the Big Retreat Master in the Sky has set out for us for however many days we may have left.   I looked around at one of the conferences, and realized… ‘We are the Elders.” And what an honor and, yes, responsibility it is.

A certain Roman philosopher named Seneca called old age ‘the incurable disease.’ And in a sense, he was right. To date, no one has yet to survive it. I mean, even good old Methuselah took the inevitable dirt nap, although he pushed it to his 969th birthday. (Hmm. I wonder if he outlived his retirement fund? Can you even imagine what his knees must have felt like, or how big his ears got, or saggy his elbows?   I wonder if, after outliving a bunch of wives, he ended up dating a younger gal, like some 557 year old desert hottie? But, I digress.)

Now this guy was an Elder, as was Abraham, and Moses, and countless others who throughout the course of history have led meaningful lives and taught by their actions and words. Of course, they were well respected. The real question here is how does one carry out the job of Elder in a society that seems to value youth and vigor above all things, that puts the seasoned citizen in the category of afterthought, that is worried about how ma and pa are going to get along in their golden years only in reference to how much will it cost to put them in that ‘senior center.’

And we as oldsters are constantly being bombarded with brochures and phone calls and ads on the Golf Channel about how we need to make sure our investments are sound so we don’t become a ‘burden’ to our children in our declining years. Well, in many cultures, most notably the Japanese, Chinese, Mediterranean and Latin, the older members of the family are taken in without question, welcomed, revered even, as a natural action in the course of life. (Not that the lovely Jill or I would want our kids to do that… but they do have some nice, roomy houses, ya know?) It is no revelation that in the US of A, there is a tendency to overlook those on the sunset side of the hill, or worse, to see them as a pain in the lower glutteal regions.

When I was a younger man, I thought I had all the answers. The older I grow, the less I believe that. But there are some things that me and the guys like those who populated that retreat do know, have lived through, and can be relied upon. We are obligated to share with the next generation of leaders… our own progeny.

We cannot forsake our responsibility to those coming behind us, all ages. We cannot neglect the charge that we have to be good examples and to share what we can to aid them. We must be there for ours, even though they naturally need us less, without being ‘too much there’. Bent and gimpy, grey and wrinkly, slower in walk though we may be, we still have a great deal to offer. We are, after all, The Elders.

The nagging question may be, however… is anyone willing to listen?

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