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How’d You Sleep Last Night, Hon?

by Tom Anselm

This is a common greeting Jill and I have every morning, as she is getting her coffee and I am staggering down the steps. It is answered variously, as she sometimes does fine, but other times has fitful sleep, or get’s up at 4 and can’t return to Slumberland. Me, on the other hand… well, I usually can report a pretty good night. Although I always seem to have some really goofy dreams.

Sleep is so funny that way. All humans need it to restore themselves, but some require less than others. All animals need at least a little bit, although giraffes and elephants and dolphins and sharks can get by with very little. No word yet on sloths, who seem to be always in a state of suspended animation. However, there are those people who are in the 1% of the population that can function just fine with about 4 hours of sleep.

Studies indicate that they may have a gene that affects the circadian rhythm. You know, the way our body responds to light and temperature with regard to sleep.

Still, these people report they are okay with the REM, the Rapid Eye Movement stage, where we are supposed to do all our dreaming. We know a lot about this from these human studies, although none have been done on sharks. Or dolphins. Or elephants, for that matter. Because, really, when is the last time anyone has heard an elephant wake up and say “Wow, Dude… did I have some crazy dreams last night.”

How much sleep is enough, or too much, or too little? According to a recent study (okay, what would we possibly do without “a recent study”? I mean, we’d just be stuck with living our lives unknowing, right? Hmmm…) teenagers need sleep at a rate of 8-10 hours, adults from 7-9, and the 65-and-uppers typically 7-8 hours. But it seems that too much, like over 9 hours regularly, might contribute to heart disease, diabetes and stroke. And too little sleep is, like, under 6 hours.

Of course, individual rates vary, like the folks above, who have been labeled “short sleepers” or “awakers”. Again, by “the studies.” However, far be it for me to say anything derogatory about the sleeping habits of others. Which brings me to a corollary of sleep… The Nap.

I have long been a regular practitioner and leading proponent of The Nap. So much so (I’ve prob told you this before) that my grandkids have renamed The Nap as The Tom. I do not apologize for this, as I have the gift of being able to drop for a few minutes of doze-time for as long as I can remember. Nap before a baseball game, in the car coming home from grandma’s house, in the airport terminal. On a driveway, in a chair… I can nap anywhere! (Apologizes to Dr. Suess.)

And again with the studies, but scientists have undeniably determined the restorative value of the 20-minute snooze. Heck, there’s even a National Napping Day, which comes the first day after changing to Daylight Savings Time. If you missed it this year, March 13, go ahead and sneak one in today. Remember, as the day’s creator, Boston University professor William Anthony states, ‘there’s never really a bad time to take a nap.”

Some company’s even have “Nap-Zones” at their offices for just that purpose. Hey, I could work there. I even heard that flight crews on long trips build a short respite into their schedule. Just as long as both guys don’t drop at the same time. Oopsies!

So, as our bodies continue to figure out just what the heck happened with that recent time change, I offer you this song.

“Sleep pretty baby, don’t you cry, and I will sing a lullaby.”

And Golden Slumbers to you all.

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