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How Not to Spend Money: Live in World of Indecision

by Tom Anselm

Well, friends, Jill and I have been really frugal these past months. Just the other day, we went shopping, looking for a few things for the house. On the list were a night stand for Jill, a non-Smart TV, an end table for the family room (because the one we have is too big and we have to push the chair over too far and it blocks the sliding door to the deck), and a headboard set for the master bedroom since the one we have is, well, old.

I guess we hit about three stores, from Macy’s to Value City to Weekends Only, and while some had stuff we were close to pulling the trigger on, we just didn’t.

When we got home, I said “Hey, babe, we just saved about $2000!” It was like a reality show, only . . . real, you know? And then, I thought of just how stupid are most reality shows, especially the ones where people go house hunting. Even calling one show “House Hunters.” And then . . . I had this idea.

   We could have our own reality show. You know, call it “Tom and The Lovely Jill Go Shopping and Save Thousands by Not Buying Anything.” Maybe too long? Or “Real Life in the Land of Indecision.”

We could do what we do best (see above), and at the end of the show, we could have an expert panel of decorators and house-fixing-up people give their opinions on what we should have bought. We could get the stores we don’t buy from to sponsor us, because the Expert Panel of Experts would say what we should’ve gotten from each place, their stuff being so great!

Back to the other day, for another example. We got to the department store. Looking for that Dumb TV. I walked over to the salesman by the dryers.

“Hi, I was wondering if you worked in TVs” I said, since there was no one waiting on us even as we stood around for about 15 minutes.

He looked at me as if I had leprosy.

“Do I work on TVs?” he said, with a facial expression somewhere between condescension and abject boredom.

“Yeah, no, I mean do you … can you answer a few questions about the TVs? I said, quickly seeing this was going to be a waste of time.

“TVs. Well, I don’t work on them, I sell them. I’m with these people right now,” he said, waving his clipboard dismissively at a couple about 20 feet away looking at dryers. Like I even saw them, dude.

“Well… thanks,” said I, returning to the wife with an “Ain’t no way in heck I’m buying anything from that (bleep).” See, we’d have to bleep it because it’s a family show, right? And true to the show’s theme, we saved a couple hunnert right there.

To the other stores defense, most of the sales personnel were very helpful, offering us ideas, talking about the goods, not pressuring us at all. Jill eventually got great deals on an end table and a night stand a few days later that fit perfectly. By herself.   At a totally different store. Gotta watch this trend, if we are going to pitch that show.

Oh, by the way. Our next big shopping adventure will be replacing my 2007 Fusion. Now that would be a great episode, right?

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