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By Randy Gardner

I can’t believe the feedback that I have received on my column over the past few weeks about cheating. I don’t know if it is the aspect of cheating or the aspect of teaching my kids honesty and integrity, but it has really struck a nerve. I have had several people stop me and tell me about their personal stories, some going back 20 and 30 years ago.

As I have found out from this column, cheating is nothing new. If you have been following my ongoing story in my past columns about my child’s soccer league.

Here is the latest. We are in second place, with another team one point behind us in third. The winner of this division plays next week against the lower level division winners for the championship. The current first place team has been accussed of bringing non- roster players to the games by several coaches including myself. I have already told my parents and my kids that if this team would be disqualified and we would be given first place, that we will not play for the title game. We will give the championship to the green division team.

Many have asked why. The simple answer is the entire season has been skewed by teams that have played and lost against this team, so the division could have seated itself totally different. The teams that forfeited against this team might have had a chance. I

can not do this to other coaches in the league. We could have gone 8-3. For me as a coach, this is a lesson that I can teach my kids for the future. Winning is important, but honesty and integrity are more important. In the future, if one kid looks at a business decision or a life decision and takes the high road, I have made a mark on someone’s life, and this is what coaching is about.

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In a related subject, for me to stand and watch coaches flaunt their power over the kids on the sidelines and berate referees is ridiculous. I have seen parents screaming at their kids, yelling at the referees, as well as swearing at the other team’s parents. This is something that goes on everyday on every field. I told my wife over the weekend, I was second guessing coaching because of these ridiculous situations. This might be a rude statement, but most of the yelling comes from coaches and individuals that have never played a game in their life. This game is for the kids, not for the coaches or adults.

Think about how you respond at work? Does it help if you are constantly yelled at and criticized by your boss, or does the pat on the back and compassion approach work better? Stop and think about it. Yes, there are times to be caught up in the game but control yourselves. In some leagues they have gone to silent games, where the parents can’t even cheer. Don’t let it come to this.

Finally for the kids that feel they have to showboat and flaunt their talents, please remember sports are about respect. Not shaking hands after the game and acting like your better than everyone else the ultimate disrespect. Remember there is someone out there better than you. I have also seen kids going out to hurt other kids on the field. Remember, what comes around goes around. Respect, honesty and integrity are the biggest lessons you can learn both on and off the field. I know I sound like a grumpy old man and I’m only 47 but we have to get the world of youth sports under control.

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