By Maggie Scott<\/strong><\/p>\nDirector Marcus Nispel has a go at a \u201creboot\u201d of the \u201cmythos\u201d of author Robert E. Howard\u2019s world of Conan the Barbarian\u2014hoping that 3-D CGI effects and the rippling, cleavaged pecs of actor (TV\u2019s \u201cGame of Thrones\u201d)<\/p>\n
Jason Momoa will erase embarrassing memories of Arnold Schwarzenegger as the beefy brute of Cimmeria.\u00a0 Sad to say, Mr. Nispel\u2019s version is embarrassingly uninspiring: The effects are unimaginatively lumbering, the Bulgarian locations are dull and the script is full of such memorably laughable lines as, \u201cThe pureblood is close; I can taste her in the air.\u201d<\/p>\n
While you can sense Momoa has talent and intelligence, the story doesn\u2019t provide many opportunities for their expression.\u00a0 Though his nicely sculpted body looks fetching in a series of historically confusing costumes of leather, chainmail and fur, Momoa must deal with the character\u2019s traditional long, stringy hair, whose peek-a-boo properties make him the Veronica Lake of the ancient world.<\/p>\n
Valiantly struggling alongside Momoa are Stephen Lang as Conan\u2019s evil nemesis, Khalar Zym; Rose McGowan as Zym\u2019s witch-daughter, Marique; and Rachel Nichols as the \u201cmonk\u201d Tamara. While Lang plays his sadism more-or-less straight, McGowan hams it up for all it\u2019s worth; aided and abetted by exotically weird costumes, makeup, hairstyles and steel talon manicures.<\/p>\n
Although fetching in face and form, these are de-emphasized in Tamara in favor of an intelligent, strong-willed demeanor conveyed predominantly through Nichols\u2019 eyes.\u00a0 It is no surprise—considering that everything about the story is a retread—that Tamara will go from verbal sparring with, to fighting side-by-side with, and, finally, rolling in the hay with, Conan.<\/p>\n
The woman of peace and the man (\u201ca child born of battle\u201d) of war will unite to thwart the world-dominating dreams of Zym, who has butchered vast legions of people in his quest for a mask that will bestow god-like powers on him after it is filled with the \u201cpure blood\u201d of\u00a0 Tamara.<\/p>\n
Considering that one of the people he butchered was Conan\u2019s father (Ron Perlman), Zym will not have an easy time of it.\u00a0 Besides the imposing body of Conan, one can expect multiple scenes of hand-to-hand (outfitted with swords, for the most part) , bloody combat, torture (a severed nose socket is probed\u2026close your eyes for that one) and bare breasts in both \u201cslaves\u201d and dancing\/pleasure girls.<\/p>\n
It is all worth no more than \u201cguilty pleasure\u201d status for fans of the genre, but it does, oddly, make one think about checking out the Schwarzenegger version.\u00a0 It is rated R for violence, nudity, sexual content.\u00a0 A Millenium Films production, Lionsgate release.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Jason Momoa is the 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian in the new\u00a0Conan laced in 3D and special effects New Version of ‘Conan’ is Uninspiring By Maggie Scott Director Marcus Nispel has a go at a \u201creboot\u201d of the \u201cmythos\u201d of author Robert E. Howard\u2019s world of Conan the Barbarian\u2014hoping that 3-D CGI effects and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","entry"],"yoast_head":"\n
Movie review: Conon - flovalleynews.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Movie review: Conon - flovalleynews.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jason Momoa is the 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian in the new\u00a0Conan laced in 3D and special effects New Version of ‘Conan’ is Uninspiring By Maggie Scott Director Marcus Nispel has a go at a \u201creboot\u201d of the \u201cmythos\u201d of author Robert E. Howard\u2019s world of Conan the Barbarian\u2014hoping that 3-D CGI effects and […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"flovalleynews.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-08-23T18:19:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/conan-pg-13.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"independentnws\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"independentnws\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"independentnws\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7bede6d4517a6be3345b47415b09cebd\"},\"headline\":\"Movie review: Conon\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-08-23T18:19:35+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144\"},\"wordCount\":464,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.flovalleynews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/conan-pg-13.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Movie Reviews\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144\",\"name\":\"Movie review: Conon - flovalleynews.com\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.flovalleynews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/conan-pg-13.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-08-23T18:19:35+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7bede6d4517a6be3345b47415b09cebd\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.flovalleynews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/conan-pg-13.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.flovalleynews.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2011\\\/08\\\/conan-pg-13.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?p=6144#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Movie review: Conon\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"flovalleynews.com\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7bede6d4517a6be3345b47415b09cebd\",\"name\":\"independentnws\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/f76505b4d7bc95b432faea9b79d00a6abc40ba8a96aef3a5fbd567ecb14b19a0?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/f76505b4d7bc95b432faea9b79d00a6abc40ba8a96aef3a5fbd567ecb14b19a0?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/f76505b4d7bc95b432faea9b79d00a6abc40ba8a96aef3a5fbd567ecb14b19a0?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"independentnws\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/flovalleynews.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Movie review: Conon - flovalleynews.com","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Movie review: Conon - flovalleynews.com","og_description":"Jason Momoa is the 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian in the new\u00a0Conan laced in 3D and special effects New Version of ‘Conan’ is Uninspiring By Maggie Scott Director Marcus Nispel has a go at a \u201creboot\u201d of the \u201cmythos\u201d of author Robert E. Howard\u2019s world of Conan the Barbarian\u2014hoping that 3-D CGI effects and […]","og_url":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144","og_site_name":"flovalleynews.com","article_published_time":"2011-08-23T18:19:35+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/conan-pg-13.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"independentnws","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"independentnws","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144"},"author":{"name":"independentnws","@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/#\/schema\/person\/7bede6d4517a6be3345b47415b09cebd"},"headline":"Movie review: Conon","datePublished":"2011-08-23T18:19:35+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144"},"wordCount":464,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/conan-pg-13.jpg","articleSection":["Movie Reviews"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144","url":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144","name":"Movie review: Conon - flovalleynews.com","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/conan-pg-13.jpg","datePublished":"2011-08-23T18:19:35+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/#\/schema\/person\/7bede6d4517a6be3345b47415b09cebd"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/conan-pg-13.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/conan-pg-13.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=6144#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Movie review: Conon"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/","name":"flovalleynews.com","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/#\/schema\/person\/7bede6d4517a6be3345b47415b09cebd","name":"independentnws","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f76505b4d7bc95b432faea9b79d00a6abc40ba8a96aef3a5fbd567ecb14b19a0?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f76505b4d7bc95b432faea9b79d00a6abc40ba8a96aef3a5fbd567ecb14b19a0?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f76505b4d7bc95b432faea9b79d00a6abc40ba8a96aef3a5fbd567ecb14b19a0?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"independentnws"},"url":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?author=1"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6144"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6144\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"conan](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/08\/conan-pg-13.jpg?resize=450%2C322\" "\\"conan")
<\/p>\n