{"id":19972,"date":"2018-08-22T14:06:07","date_gmt":"2018-08-22T20:06:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/?p=19972"},"modified":"2018-08-22T14:06:07","modified_gmt":"2018-08-22T20:06:07","slug":"a-boomers-journal-tom-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=19972","title":{"rendered":"A Boomer\u2019s Journal: Tom on . . ."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Tom<\/a>
Tom Anselm<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Putting the P in PGA<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h1>\n

By Tom Anselm<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

I made my foray into the morass that is the 100th PGA Championship at Bellerive Country Club two weeks ago on a Tuesday. My brother Don got me a ticket for $20 and I thought, okay, let\u2019s get a taste. Well, it was an interesting one, to be sure.<\/p>\n

Started out on an auspicious note, as I got on the shuttle bus at Creve Coeur soccer field and just as it was pulling away, I checked my pocket for the good old mobile. Nope not there, nor on the seat. Stopped the bus, got off, went back to car. Not in car. Drove car to a closer bus stop. John the Shuttle Guy said, \u2018let\u2019s call your phone, see if it\u2019s still in the car.\u2019 Which he did. Which it was. Second try, jumped on next bus, 10 minutes to course, all is well. Security was easy. Then\u2026<\/p>\n

About a 15 minute walk just to get to the first stop of interest, which was THE GRAND MEGA MALL of GOLF SWAG. (not the official name\u2026 just my name for it.) This place was so huge it had its own zip code. Everything you ever wanted in a golf store, from apparel to tees to a bottle opener that looked like a tinkle trough\/tombstone to a picture with Sergio Garcia\/Tommy Fleetwood to a $600 watch with the PGA Championship logo to\u2026 well, you get the idea. I walked through this wonderfully frigid center, stopped off at the little boy\u2019s room but couldn\u2019t get clear directions, so I waded into the rushing stream of golf-kit-bedecked humanity as we all swam north to the course.<\/p>\n

Went down several flights of steps, since almost everything was built up over the grounds on giant platform walkways to avoid damage to the clubs entranceway, around a 40-foot-wide walkway that skirted the driving range, down more steps approaching the 18th green\/first tee, then around the back side of the Clubhouse entrance. All the time, Mr. Bladder signaling frantically that he couldn\u2019t hold out much longer. And, alas, not a Johnny-on-the-Spot sign to be found. Finally, a friendly fellow pointed me in the right direction. \u2018About 50 yards down there, sir, past the hospitality tent, along the path by the first tee.\u2019<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>
The Crowds at the PGA in St. Louis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I looked that way, and all I saw was, literally, people\u2019s heads, not moving, nary a place to pass, as some dang golfers were teeing off. (Side note #1: Why do golfers need such silence when they hit? Baseball\/football\/hockey\/soccer athletes perform admirably in the most insane-decibel-level of conditions.) So this route was not an option. \u2018Let\u2019s figure out something quick\u2019 said Bladder to Brain. \u2018Almost time to go, here.\u2019 So it was back to said MEGA MALL to find that relief station.<\/p>\n

In the course of this adventure, I am slowly discovering that I may in fact suffer from claustrophobia, with my ankle screaming at me to \u2018sit down, why doncha\u2019, brother Don texting me \u2018where are you!? I got two drink tickets from Blake\u2019 (his son, volunteering through his college program.) Like I need a drink\u2026 well, maybe I did, but that would have just added to the crisis.<\/p>\n

Finally\u2026 I get to the stand of at least 40 gorgeous green human waste depositories rising like a mirage not 15 feet from the MALL exit\u2026 15 feet, Jaden?!… and … AHHHhhhhhhhh. (Sidenote #2: Memo to PGA: Howsa bout locating some of these all-important facilities more strategically throughout the patron\u2019s areas? I mean, the vast majority of visitors are not carrying access credentials for the \u2018corporate chalets\u2019 liberally scattered about the course.<\/p>\n

So at this point, I am about near done. Yeah, I know it\u2019s the 100th PGA Cham\u2026 so what. I did get to watch 1991 PGA Champion John Daly, bedecked in crazy floral shorts and smoking a Marlboro while warming up at the driving range (John Daly, the antithesis of Country Club-ism\u2026 love it!) and then decided to just beat the swarms back to the shuttle site, then home, where it is 70 degrees and the toilet is three feet away instead of 300 and I get instant replays from 13 angles of every shot on the Golf Channel Okay. Deep breath.<\/p>\n

It was a great event to be part of, even for the limited time I participated. I was able to bring my unofficial Khaki short count (something I do at every golf event I attend\u2026 just cracks me up) to nearly 200 in less than two hours. I picked up a nifty pennant commemorating (and verifying!) that, yes, great-grandchildren, Grandpa Tom was at the 100th PGA\u2026 oh well, you get my drift.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Putting the P in PGA By Tom Anselm I made my foray into the morass that is the 100th PGA Championship at Bellerive Country Club two weeks ago on a Tuesday. My brother Don got me a ticket for $20 and I thought, okay, let\u2019s get a taste. Well, it was an interesting one, to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,13,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19972","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columnists","category-entertainment-travel","category-sports","entry"],"yoast_head":"\nA Boomer\u2019s Journal: Tom on . . . - flovalleynews.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=19972\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Boomer\u2019s Journal: Tom on . . . - flovalleynews.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Putting the P in PGA By Tom Anselm I made my foray into the morass that is the 100th PGA Championship at Bellerive Country Club two weeks ago on a Tuesday. 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