{"id":13511,"date":"2014-11-05T08:44:26","date_gmt":"2014-11-05T14:44:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.flovalleynews.com\/?p=13511"},"modified":"2014-11-05T08:44:26","modified_gmt":"2014-11-05T14:44:26","slug":"halloween-rituals-have-changed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=13511","title":{"rendered":"Halloween Rituals Have Changed"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1>Mr. Fuddy-duddy Longs for Yesteryear\u2019s Halloween<\/h1>\n<h3><strong>\u00a0 \u00a0By Tom Anselm<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Tom-Amsel.-pg-2jpg.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-11710 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flovalleynews.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Tom-Amsel.-pg-2jpg-112x150.jpg?resize=112%2C150\" alt=\"Tom Amsel. pg 2jpg\" width=\"112\" height=\"150\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjwvc3ZnPg==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 112px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 112\/150;\" \/><\/a>Like most holidays in our post-modern society, Halloween has become very complicated. There are elaborate and ghoulish haunted houses, Six Flags Fright Fest, full blown retail-outlets with aisle upon aisle of spooky paraphernalia and every conceivable costume known to man and zombies. And the gruesomeness-meter hits \u2018tilt\u2019 in every neighborhood with a yard display that makes \u201cTexas Chainsaw Massacre\u201d look like \u201cMr. Roger\u2019s Neighborhood.\u201d And so at the risk of sounding like Mr. Fuddy-duddy, I gotta say this just ain\u2019t right.<\/p>\n<p>Back in my day (how\u2019s that for a \u2018fuddyduddyism\u2019?), things were a whole lot simpler.\u00a0\u00a0 Our costumes consisted of what we could find in good old mom and dad\u2019s old clothes drawer. I lost track of how many times I went as a \u2018bum\u2019, wearing a baggy flannel shirt tied at the waist, a beat-up fedora from my grandpa, sporting a burnt-cork beard, and hauling a pillowcase to handle all the candy I was bound to haul in.\u00a0\u00a0 Total cost\u2026 nothin\u2019. It wasn\u2019t so much how clever your get-up was. The major goal was to do anything you could to score great gobs of sugared goo.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We would wander the Hills of Bissell for<\/p>\n<p>hours, from my house to Bellefontaine Road over to Chambers and home again. We never went in for the car-window-soaping or house-egging sort of schtick. We were good little bums. Then we\u2019d stagger through the front door and dump our booty on the living room floor, competing with my brother to see who got the most Snickers and Hershey\u2019s Almond bars. (Full size, no less; none of this mini-stuff then.)<\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s talk a bit about candy. You could<\/p>\n<p>keep the Milky Way\u2026 too, well, milky. The Clark bar had an identity crisis\u2026Same with Butterfinger. Baby Ruth\u2026nothing more than Snicker\u2019s lumpy cousin. Three Musketeers\u2026 glorified Milky Way. Pay Day looked like something you could find under the front seat of your car, like a hunk of goo happened to roll around and pick up a few peanuts. (However, I have grown to love them in my old age. Low carbs, protein\u2026healthy snack, right?) The Zero bar\u2026not a chance, and aptly named. M&amp;M\u2019s were okay, but nothing special. Zagnut, Chunky\u2026 not in the same class as the others. Now Heath bars\u2026 there is a good use<\/p>\n<p>of a mystery-middle covered in chocolate. Eat those with a Coke\u2026 mmmm, baby. And you can keep Skittles, Smarties, Blow Pops\u2026 wasted effort and wholly unsatisfying, if you ask me.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And we always had to have a joke. Now, I<\/p>\n<p>hear from others that this is a tradition peculiar to our town. Our Chicago-born grandkids never had to work for their free sweets. Over the years I have told and heard hundreds of great ones, but a few stand out here. \u201cWhy was the Skeleton lonely? He didn\u2019t have nobody&#8230; (no Body!). What is a vampire\u2019s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving. What is a ghost\u2019s favorite Italian food? Boo-sghetti. And a new one this year\u2026 Why can Peter Pan fly forever?\u2026\u2018Cause he comes from Never Land!<\/p>\n<p>But I fear today\u2019s Halloween has been<\/p>\n<p>preempted by young adults. Candy has been replaced with pumpkin-flavored adult beverages, a couple of jack-o-lanterns on the front porch with Hollywood horror flick sets. I warned you I was Mr. Fuddy-duddy today. But I will confess that Katie and her nutty husband Brett did host some pretty kickin\u2019 parties when they were first married. However, as often happens, parenthood has brought them to their senses. Still, I long for the days when we taught the virtues of gluttony and greed amidst the simplicity of kids in homemade outfits, pillow cases in hand, having to perform stand-up comedy for the right to eat themselves silly and puke up their winnings on the lime-green bedroom carpet.<\/p>\n<p>And yeah, one of our male progeny accomplished that awesome feat. Oh, bring back the good old days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mr. Fuddy-duddy Longs for Yesteryear\u2019s Halloween \u00a0 \u00a0By Tom Anselm Like most holidays in our post-modern society, Halloween has become very complicated. There are elaborate and ghoulish haunted houses, Six Flags Fright Fest, full blown retail-outlets with aisle upon aisle of spooky paraphernalia and every conceivable costume known to man and zombies. And the gruesomeness-meter [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,13,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-columnists","category-entertainment-travel","category-events","entry"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Halloween Rituals Have Changed - flovalleynews.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/flovalleynews.com\/?p=13511\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Halloween Rituals Have Changed - flovalleynews.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mr. Fuddy-duddy Longs for Yesteryear\u2019s Halloween \u00a0 \u00a0By Tom Anselm Like most holidays in our post-modern society, Halloween has become very complicated. 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